How To Cure Lovesickness, According To The Malleus Maleficarum

In general, the Malleus Maleficarum (a 15th-century witch-hunting manual) is a horrible source for relationship advice. In fact, its passages can often be horribly sexist. For instance, the Malleus Maleficarum stated this lovely line: “it should be noted that there was a defect in the formation of the first woman, since she was formed from a bent rib, that is, a rib of the breast, which is bent as it were in a contrary direction to a man. And since through this defect she is an imperfect animal, she always deceives” (Part I, question 6). Yet, despite their poor credentials for giving relationship advice, the authors of the Malleus Maleficarum decided to touch on the topic of love, and not of the brotherly or sisterly kind. In particular, they sought to educate their readers of ways to escape the clutches of lovesickness.

To the credit of the Malleus Maleficarum, the text did admit that most cases of lovesickness, or excessive lust, longing and infatuation, were likely the result of natural and non-diabolical causes. Therefore, the authors of the Malleus Maleficarum addressed the issue in two ways—cures for natural lovesickness, and cures for witchcraft-caused lovesickness. Specifically, their aim was to educate their readers on how to avoid irreligious relationships and situations such as premarital or extramarital affairs. It was a serious topic for the authors, for they believed “if he cleaves to his earthly love, that will be his sole reward, but he will lose the bliss of Heaven, and be condemned to eternal fire” (Malleus Maleficarum, Part II, question 2, chapter 3).

Cures For Natural Lovesickness

Unmarried Sufferers:

1. For the unmarried sufferer of longing or unrequited love, the Malleus Maleficarum advised, “if the law permits, he may be married to her, and so be cured by yielding to nature” (Part II, question 2, chapter 3). The text also offered an experiment that doctors or parents could try out if they believed a person was made bedridden by lovesickness but would not divulge who it was that caused their affliction. For such a situation, the Malleus Maleficarum advised checking the patient’s pulse while various people came to his or her bedside. If the patient’s heart rate quickened when a certain someone entered the room, the doctor or parent could discover the object of their charge’s desires. If the two were then married in holy matrimony, claimed the Malleus Maleficarum, the lovesickness would be cured.

Married Sufferers:

2. For those who were already married or in situations where chasing their desires would lead to an irreligious or illegal outcome, the Malleus Maleficarum claimed that one option was to take medicine or medicinal supplements. No specifics were mentioned by the authors, but they did stress that when browsing through the dubious love-related potions and herbs, only “lawful remedies” should be used (Malleus Maleficarum, Part II, question 2, chapter 3).

3. Another self-help cure that the Malleus Maleficarum offered to those suffering from lovesickness was the idea of avoidance and busywork. For those beleaguered by unattainable or unrequited longing and desire, the authors suggested that such a person should distance themselves from the one they desired and then promptly delve into the most arduous and exhausting tasks available, so as to distract the mind through physical labor. By grinding away at such grueling chores, one could outwait the pangs of longing and survive lovesickness.

4. Group-oriented methods of curing someone’s lovesickness were also proposed by the authors of the Malleus Maleficarum.  One option was for the sufferer to be brought to a mentor or educator. Such a person, claimed the authors of the text, could chastise the victim of lovesickness about their misplaced emotions and use various philosophical arguments to guide them out of their dilemma. An argument favored by the authors of the Malleus Maleficarum for use against people suffering from unadvisable longing was apparently that “such love is the greatest misery” (Part II, question 2, chapter 3). Once the educator or mentor drilled that or a similar statement into the head of the suffering person, the victim of lovesickness, in theory, would be able to move on.

5. If the mentor or educator method seems ineffective, then perhaps the Malleus Maleficarum’s friendly conversation route will be more palatable. For this, the sufferer of lovesickness need only visit a good friend—preferably a friend who is a good liar. This designated friend was then supposed to take up the ignoble task of shattering the aura of love and affection that the sufferer had for the desired person. In short, the Malleus Maleficarum suggested that the friends of a lovesick person could slander and defame the person whom the sufferer fancied. If the person who needed slandering was a woman, the Malleus Maleficarum advised the dutiful friend to “vilify the body and disposition of his [buddy’s] love, and so blacken her character that she may appear to him altogether base and deformed” (Part II, question 2, chapter 3). If smearing the name of an innocent person is not your cup of tea, the Malleus Maleficarum also admitted that introducing the lovesick individual to other men or women was a viable option if such matchmaking would not lead to a sin.

Cures For Witchcraft-Caused Lovesickness

1. Unsurprisingly, as the Malleus Maleficarum was a witch-hunter’s manual, the text inevitably concluded that some cases of lovesickness and inordinate longing was not natural, but brought about by witchcraft. One remedy for such diabolical lovesickness was reportedly to utter certain sacred words, yet the authors of the text neglected to mention which words they had in mind. If simple holy words and phrases did not suffice, then this method could be escalated all the way to a full-blown exorcism, which, besides expelling demons, would apparently cure the witch-borne lovesickness.

2. If an exorcism seemed too much of a hassle for a cure to lovesickness, then this next option provided by the Malleus Maleficarum may be more appealing. According to the authors of the text, the sufferer need only call on their guardian angel in order to be saved from their pesky supernatural lovesickness. In all, this method seems much more appealing than that of the exorcism.

3. Lastly, if the guardian angel is on vacation or not responding, another option presented by the Malleus Maleficarum is for the sufferer of lovesickness to simply head to church and make use of the features that the house of worship has to offer. On these last few methods, the text proclaimed, “Let him daily invoke the Guardian Angel deputed to him by God, let him use confession and frequent the shrines of the Saints, especially of the Blessed Virgin, and without doubt he will be delivered” (Part II, question 2, chapter 3).

Written by C. Keith Hansley

Picture Attribution: (Tristan and Isolde drinking a love potion, painted by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828–1882), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons).

Sources:

• The Malleus Maleficarum by Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger, translated by Montague Summers (Dover Publications, 1971).

How An Old Man Allegedly Helped Create The Han Dynasty By Dropping A Shoe

Zhang Liang was from a prominent family that served one of the feudal kingdoms that was eventually toppled by the Qin Dynasty (c. 221-206 BCE). Even after the Zhang family found itself under Qin rule, they still had wealth—Zhang Liang reportedly had the means to fund a staff of 300 servants. Yet, Zhang Liang was too patriotic to appreciate being able to keep his wealth under the new regime. Instead, he decided to spend his remaining family fortune on bankrolling a band of rebels to resist the Qin rulers.

According to the ancient historian, Sima Qian (c. 145-90 BCE), Zhang Liang and his band of dissidents tried to assassinate the First Emperor of Qin, Shihuangdi, in 218 BCE. They hunted down the emperor’s carriage train while he was touring the east. The rebels set up an ambush and Zhang Liang gave his strongest recruit an enormous iron bludgeon with which to lead the attack. As the rebels had planned, the emperor’s entourage rolled into the trap. When the time was right, the assassins charged toward the wagons and successfully smashed their way into one of the regal carriages. Luck, however, was not on the side of the rebels that day. They made the unsalvageable mistake of attacking the wrong carriage. Instead of discovering the vulnerable emperor inside, the rebels found only startled attendants. The mistake gave the guards enough time to rally to the defense of their emperor. With their plan foiled, the rebels scattered and went into hiding. Zhang Liang assumed an alias and settled down in Xiapei. While there, he spent much of his time pacing around the local embankments.

According to Sima Qian, Zhang Liang was strolling along one of these embankments when he spotted a quirky old man in crude clothing walking toward him. As the two came into speaking distance, Zhang Liang watched in amazement as the elder took off his shoe and deliberately sent it tumbling down the embankment, where it came to a rest beside the water’s edge. Once the shoe came to a halt, the old man asked the baffled Zhang Liang to fetch the shoe. For a moment, the rebel did not know if he wanted to help the man or punch him. After a moment of deliberation, Zhang Liang climbed down the embankment and retrieved the shoe. When Zhang Liang climbed back up with the footgear, the old man then asked the rebel for a further favor—he wanted help putting the shoe back on his foot. After Zhang Liang helped with the shoe, the old man only laughed and walked off without a word.

The befuddled Zhang Liang watched as the chuckling elder continued on his walk. Yet, eventually the old man began shuffling his way back to the slack-jawed rebel. When he had returned, the old man approvingly said that Zhang Liang had potential and asked for the rebel to meet him at that spot on the embankment at dawn in five days time.

Zhang Liang counted off the days and when the fifth had come, he woke up at dawn and set off for the embankment. When he arrived, he found that the old man was already present and visibly angry. The elder chided his student for being late and told him to come again in five days.

On the appointed day, Zhang Liang woke with the birds and arrived at the embankment just before dawn. Again, the old man was already there and, again, the elder was angry. Disappointed, the old man dismissed Zhang Liang and told him to arrive on time in five days.

When the scheduled meeting was near, Zhang Liang decided that he would take no chances. Therefore, the rebel took only a brief nap for his rest and traveled out to the embankment in the middle of the night. To Zhang Liang’s satisfaction, the old man was nowhere to be seen. Nevertheless, the rebel did not have to wait long before he could make out the old man approaching in the darkness. When the two met, the elder mused out loud that this was indeed the Way. After announcing his approval, the old man held out a book to Zhang Liang and prophesied that with its written wisdom, the rebel would become a successful teacher of kings. After that, the old man wandered off into the darkness and Zhang Liang never saw him again.

Sima Qian wrote that the book given to Zhang Liang was called The Grand Duke’s Art of War. As for the old man, Sima Qian did not presume to know the identity of the sage, but he did not rule out the possibility of a supernatural being. Other commentators on the story linked the old man to the semi-mythical Daoist figure, Huang Shigong.

According to Sima Qian, The Grand Duke’s Art of War was priceless for Zhang Liang during the civil wars that brought about the fall of the Qin Dynasty and the rise of the Han Dynasty. When widespread rebellions sprung up against the Qin Dynastic rule in 209 BCE, Zhang Liang joined the rebels and aligned himself with Liu Bang, the king of Han, and King Cheng, who ruled Zhang Liang’s ancestral homeland. When a rival warlord murdered King Cheng, Zhang Liang put his full support behind Liu Bang, who would found the Han Dynasty of China and bring the fractured Chinese kingdoms under his control by 202 BCE.

Zhang Liang was said to have instructed Liu Bang in the wisdom of The Grand Duke’s Art of War and also tutored Liu Bang’s successor, Emperor Hui. Although Zhang Liang became too sick to fight during Liu Bang’s rise to power, he played a vital role in the background as a master strategist for the Han forces. For his contributions, Zhang Liang was given the title of marquis.

Written by C. Keith Hansley.

Picture Attribution: (Painting of Zhang Liang and Huang Shigong, [Public Domain] via Creative Commons).

Sources:

• Records of the Grand Historian (Shi ji) by Sima Qian, translated by Burton Watson. New York: Columbia University Press, 1993.
• http://www.hermitagemuseum.org/wps/portal/hermitage/digital-collection/08.+Applied+Arts/415029/?lng= 
• http://www.chinaknowledge.de/History/Han/personszhangliang.html  

Seven Strange Character Names From The Ancient Philosopher And Theologian, Chuang Tzu

Get to the Point

The ancient Daoist philosopher, Chuang Tzu, was one of the most brilliantly witty thinkers of his day, and his work still is influential. He was one of the most important figures of early Daoism, with only Laozi, the founder that religion, consistently ranked above him. Chuang Tzu’s insight into the world we live in will leave a lasting impression on anyone who reads his work, but some particulars about his writing may cause a stray giggle here and there; the names of the characters in his stories can be very peculiar. This article uses the version of Chuang Tzu’s work translated by Burton Watson. Whether Chuang Tzu’s names are a result of the English translation, or a tool to convey meaning, is unclear, but the latter is the likeliest option. Here are seven of Chuang Tzu’s strangest names, starting with the most tame and ending with the most bizarre.

10+1 Life-Changing Quotes From Ancient Greece

(Guest Article)

Greece preserves one of the most ancient cultures and one of the most inspiring histories worldwide. Its history is made up of bloody wars and occupations, but also of people who, with their ideas, visions and ambitions, have shaped the course of the whole world. Most of them are considered to be philosophers and many of their ideas, point of view and world theories still inspire modern people. Although many of them did not actually write texts, their sayings were saved by their students. Recognized virtues, such as discipline, glory, honor, and the value of family and friendship, can be traced back to their insights, and still move and influence modern people's lives.

Diogenes ‘The Cynic’ of Sinope—The Philosopher-Hermit Who Disregarded Luxury, Law And Civilization

(Diogenes by Jean-Léon Gérôme (1824–1904), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons)

During the late 5th century BCE, one of the most bizarre men to have ever lived was born in the Greek-colonized city of Sinope, located on the coast of the Black Sea in modern Turkey. His name was Diogenes, and he would go on to impress and astound many of the great names from ancient Greece. The renowned philosopher, Plato, supposedly described Diogenes of Sinope as a “Socrates gone mad” and Alexander the Great (according to Plutarch) honored the man by saying, “If I were not Alexander, I would be Diogenes.”

Diogenes of Sinope grew up in a wealthy household. His father was a moneychanger, or a minter, whose business was in currency. Despite this, Diogenes detested money. In fact, most accounts of Diogenes’ early life claim he was exiled from Sinope because he defaced or tampered with the local currency. Whatever the exact cause, Diogenes was expelled from Sinope and found himself in Athens with—reportedly—only a wooden bowl or cup to his name, which he soon discarded.

The Golden Rule Is Older than You Think!

Confucius and Jesus Preached the Golden Rule Centuries Apart

Most people know that one of the central tenets of Jesus Christ’s way of life was the Golden Rule. As Christianity is a religion all about forgiveness, love and living a virtuous life, the Golden Rule is a perfect mantra for the faithful to remember in order to assure that they are acting like true Christians. Jesus prescribed that his disciples use the Golden Rule as a call for action; actively do for other what they would gladly receive for themselves.